Posted by: theodorecosmosophia | February 14, 2012

For Valentine’s Day: An Excerpt from my Forthcoming Novel THE CRUCIFIXION

The following is an excerpt from my forthcoming novel, The Crucifixion.

Song of Songs

            Where has your lover gone,

            most beautiful of women?

            Which way did your lover turn,

            that we may look for him with you?

            Song of Songs  6:1

How does one know, thought the man as he walked away from Saul’s home, at what point our love turns from one kind into another?  As the mere fleeting glance of knowing eyes, the touch of the identical fingertips of disparate souls, or an ephemeral crush, love seemed so simple in its infancy.  He had searched his soul so many times, but could not recall how his love had evolved.  Perhaps it had always been there, hiding, buried.  It had become the sort of love that never leaves, even when it has no hope of requital, the kind that remains imprinted on the soul, its recipient a part of who we are; its painful joy, its joyful pain, what we are—our emotional, spiritual flesh.

Anyone who has loved this way, this permanent way, bears its scars.  Some learn to embrace their scars, as war heroes or athletes do; others hide them in shame, covered with the masks of other people’s expectations.  In the end, the scars are all that remain.  Relationships end.  Life ends.  The scars on the soul last forever.

The man remembered, as he walked, a question Masaya had once asked Ruth.  She had had so many questions.

“How do you know that you’re in love, Mommy?”

For once, Ruth could answer her daughter’s question.  “The pain,” she had said, smiling sadly as only a mother can.

Love is an exposing, agonizing cross to bear, but it is easier to carry that cross than to be the cross of another.  In the end it leaves you reborn, with scars to deep to be washed away, even in death.

The Crucifixion will be available from Homebound Press on April 6, 2012. Please click here for more information.

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